How to Fight Stage Fright

It's said that MAN'S GREATEST FEAR other than DEATH is PUBLIC SPEAKING.

Your palms are sweaty.
Your breathing is eradic.
You just can't seem to create enough spit to wet your mouth,
no matter how much water you drink.

This is what is known as "STAGEFRIGHT"

Stagefright is what happens in high pressure sitiuations. Whether you're a Fireman running into a burning building. Or the Player with the ball and 3 seconds on the clock. It is "THE MOMENT" one must DELIVER.
As has been illustrated "stagefright" can occur in far more scenarios than those dealing strictly wth a Stage. But for the purpose of COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS I will bring it back to the realm of that stage and of Public Speaking.

So now that we know what "stagefright" is.
And what it feels like to be caught in it's clutches.
How can we fight it?
How can it be conquered ?

I have some suggestions, tools that have served me well. Not just in the art of Public Speaking and Comedy. But also in Business. My intention, is that you may find them of use as well.

So here they are:

2) See the desired end in your Mind.
EXAMPLE
- see everyone coming up to you after the show saying "great Job".
- see the SALES PITCH work and you make the sale.
- see the ball going in the hoop as the clock counts down.

1)Preparation- nothing takes the place of good old fashioned-
PRACTICE!
- Know the material you're presenting inside & out.
Practice creates Confidence. And Confidence dispels fear.
If you do not feel confident, PRACTICE until you do.

In "PAPERCHASERS" a documentary I'm in on/about Entrepreneurs in Hip-Hop,
Directed by Maxie D. Collier. We were blessed and were guided to interview many of Today's Hip-Hop Stars "Yesterday". LUDACRIS to mention one in particular, but I digress.
Towdown, one of the other artistic Businessmen we interviewed says...

Proper-Preparation-Prevents-a- Piss-Poor-Performance

May it stick with you as it's stuck with me.
REVOLUCION DE COMEDIA!


COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS SAY:
Men are from Earth; Bitches from Outerspace,
Nothing from Earth bleeds 7 days and not die.

Meditate Upon this.....

Comedian's CLUELESS VICTORY

WHO: OWNER OF A COMEDY CLUB
WHAT: HAD TO CLOSE HIS DOORS FOR BUSINESS THE BIGGEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR.
WHEN: NEW YEAR'S EVE (Even though he'd been advertising it)
WHERE: HA HA CAFE (North Hollywood)
WHY: NO COMEDIANS went to his club THAT NIGHT.

I AM excited because the Universe is showing support to earlier theories & strategies expressed here in COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS
By evidence of what just took place NEW YEAR'S EVE. The DAWN OF A NEW EPOCH AND ERA is upon us. Let this incident which is NO COINCIDENCE serve as fuel to our FAITH in ourselves.

Though it is a CLUELESS Victory. It is Victory none the less.


Clueless because Comedians dOn't know. Because we didn't go; that night. And Owners will NeEever let us know. Yeah realize that WE Comedians are the life blood of their business. Simply put ,there can be NO Comedy Club without the COMEDIAN.

VIVA LA REVOLUCION' DE AMOR!!!

COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS SAY:
Man who put penis in jar of peanut butter,
is fu**ing nuts.

The TrRUE meaning of COMEDY

"True comedy celebrates the victory of good over evil, of right over wrong. It honors creation, not ridicules it. But, to some with a prejudiced mind, Comedy is to mock and belittle ‘others’, and a tool to spread hatred and lies,"
writes jetty Singh.

And to commemorate the ending of one year and the dawning of a new. Jetty further writes a poem titled "COMEDY" that I now present to you.
I desire every Comic infinitum to read it and understand your value/worth/and office in to which you have been called. "MANY ARE CALLED, BUT THE FUNNY ARE FEW". May it inspire you to the greatness that resides within.

Signed,
One of the Tribe




COMEDY

What is comedy
One may ask
Is it Buffoonery
Is it a Farce
Or
Is it
A plain vain laugh
Just for a lark

Its neither

Its pure clean laugh
Its remedy
For failing spirits
Ailing hearts
Its fulfilment
Spiritual nourishment
Uplifts the soul
Its fruition
Its success
Its connective
Access
To Positivity
Consecutively
Contemplative Constructive Corrective
Naughty Negative
Its
MASTER’S BLESSING
Most joyous find
Its Divine
Emasculates Hatred
Eviscerates Malice
Heals grief stricken mind
Rejuvenates dwindling spirits
Cementing Force of
Humankind

Its Celebratory Song
Victory
Of
Good over evil
Right over wrong

It Celebrates
The Creation
Not Degrades or denigrate
Like some inferior blighters
Movie moguls
Constipated ‘filum’ writers
Deliberate malicious minds
Spewing comedy
Of
A jaundiced kind
Not that it warrants any comments
Or
Merits any mention
i am
Simply bringing to attention
Of
Those blighters
Movie moguls
Specially commissioned writers
Beguiled
Steeped in ‘Art’ of
Rile
Wilful Guile

Its plainly visible
Even to the blind

Their mind
Their tumour

Their Guile

Their swimming brimming cesspit
‘Innocent sense of humour’

Shall drown in their own
Colic

Sorry

Comic Bile

~ jetty Singh


COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS SAY:
Man standing on corner with hands in pocket, not feeling crazy,
but feeling nuts.

COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS ALSO SAY:
Passionate kiss is like Spider web,
lead to fly undoing.

COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS ALSO,ALSO SAY:
Man who lay Woman on ground,
get piece on Earth.

JOY/STRENGTH/& ABUNDANT NEW YEAR TO ALL

Fortune Cookies

COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS SAY:
MAN IS like LOUD STINKY FART
WOMAN IS like SILENT BUT DEADLY ONE

BOTH ARE FLATULENCE...

COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS ALSO SAY:
Man with athletic finger,
make broad jump.

Ponder this...

COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS ALSO, ALSO SAY:
Man who think grass always greener on otherside,
though he have many bush,
will never have lawn.

Fortune Cookies

COMEDAY CONFUSCIOUS SAY:

Sometimes you are the bug
Sometimes you are the windshield

COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS ALSO SAY:

Sometimes you are "The Shit"
Sometimes you are the toilet paper.
Both have same fragrance.

Meditate upon this

COMEDY CARTELS forcing those who bring us Comedy to live in Tragedy

COMEDY Cartels forcing those who bring us Comedy to live
and DIE in TRAGEDY

The Comedian I’m talking about is the non-FAMOUS one.
It’s the bench rider on the squad of Professional sports. You know the ones good enough to make it to the Professional level. But they just don’t have the popularity and recognition. That name-face recognition thing going. People might know that they’ve seen them some…where.. but they just can’t place it. OR they’ve heard your name but have never seen what you do.

In the world of Comedy this non- marquee player is the very foundation of Comedy Club Empires that exist across this great nation of ours. I submit to you that it is these UNKNOWN but HIGHLY TRAINED Comedians that are the lifeblood of every comedy club/show.

I submit to you that it is not the JERRY SEINFELD’S/MICHAEL RICHARDS/DAMON WAYANS/STEVE HARVEY’S/EDDIE MURPHY’S/DAVE CHAPPELLE’S/NOR THE DANE COOK’S that keep these businesses open. If that were the case they’d only be open a few times a month; if that. Because that’s about as much these MARQUEE PLAYERS PASS THROUGH the local Comedy club scene.

Do you know why?
BECAUSE THEY’RE OUT MAKING MONEY.
Every Comedian knows that you make real money ON THE ROAD.
So why do a rinky dink club in town for some chicken wings and a beer( if you’re lucky ) when you know that if you go out of town you could make a 100 times as much with more respect.

So while Larry the Cable guy is off making his $300,000 A SHOW.
Steve Harvey’s his $60,000 A SHOW
Jay Leno’s $100,000 A SHOW
Eddie Griffin’s $30,000 A SHOW
On and on and on..
The Comedy Store
The Laugh Factory
The Improv
The Icehouse
The Funny Bone
The ….Chuckle Hut
Are all still open.
Some are even open 7 days a week.
Why? How are they ALL still open?

Because of the Comedian like Me & You. The ones who’ve been tried by the Fire of Stage, and the Storms of Life. We who even in the midst OUR pain, in spite of our DIFFICULTIES, bring JOY&LAUGHTER to those whom seek it; thus fulfilling our divine purpose.

But are treated as less than worms of the dirt. And told that there are hundreds yeah even thousands just like US. I reject that declaration. I reject it for the very reasons previously stated. For without the seasoned veteran Comic ALL OF THESE Comedy Cartels would fall like a house of cards. I reject the disrespect associated with that attitude. Which disgusts me to highest degree. WE have all been privy to witnessing how a Club Owner/Promoter PANICS when there are few to NO COMEDIANS around. I have seen the fear that grips them in their eyes, as they then begin to manipulate the only Comedian around. Suddenly acting as if they were a person and not just a talking beast of burden. BUT oOoh! let there be a multitude of talented and faithful Comedians in the Temple of Joy that night. Then that same Comic who was treated with respect because the Club Owner/Promoter needed them. Is suddenly treated worse than a the new $2 Ho on the block. Leaving another victim dazed and confused.

How dare you who cannot do what the Comedian, the very life of your business, can do
but talk disrespectfully down too.
How dare you treat those who make us laugh as if they were paupers and pan handlers?

I DECLARE that it is quite enough Sir.
It has been more than enough Madam.
These SORROW FIGHTERS
These JOY BRINGERS
DESERVE MORE RESPECT THAN THAT.

“My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge”

Stand-Up’s we are not powerless; though we are made to feel that way. It's simply the Jedi mind –fuck.
Once we understand the POWER that already resides in OUR HANDS ;then we can better take care of ourselves.
Our power is in the people.
And "The People" LOVE US
because WE MAKE THEM LAUGH
The human spirit demands quality Comedy
And what is quality in Comedy is like Wine ;The longer the time the better the WIne
But the People can't afford Concert ticket prices every weekend.
Nor will the people tolerate an Open Mic night level of entertainment.
Here we are paid for our, just as



COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS SAY:
"As the Doctor & Mechanic are paid for their knowledge and experience.
So shall The Comedian ; who are no less than these Specialists."


COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS ALSO SAY:
"He who does not stand for something;
will fall for anything"

STAND-Upz …
Stand-UP!

VIVA LA REVOLUCION!!!

COMEDIANS are the NIGGERS of HOLLYWOOD

Used/Abused/& Financially Raped by any and all takers.
In light of the recent Writer's strike here in The Entertainment Capital of the Wortld; Hollywood, Ca. . I began to reflect upon this "BUSINESS that we call SHOW" And the many components/positions that makes it tick. And if those positions/components were likened to a race. Directors would be the caucAsians/ Actors the Asians/Writers the Mexicans/Comedians the Niggers. And the Studio heads and Studios period that you may think I have forgotten to mention;are like the Rothschild's/Bush's/ & Rockerfellers. But having said that the most important of all these is the Creator;The Creator of Content. The most Prolific and Potent creator that exist is the Comedian; the TRUE Comedian. You see without the Creator there is no JOke that makes us laugh nor a Story to make us cry.

Which brings me to my point about Comedians being the niggers of Show Business. As I stated in Daryl Littletons's Best Selling book "Black Comedians on Black Comedy". Club Owners /Promoters and every Exhibitor of the this "Thing Of Ours". This Craft of Comedy refuse to pay a decent wage. Knowing damn well that the cost of living continues to soar, but they continue to nickle and dime the Comic. And are actually paying LESS than what Red Foxx/Milton Berle/Dick Gregory/Jackie Mason & those guys were getting paid back in the 60's/50's/& 40's. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE!

Comedians ARE the MOST CREATIVE but the LEAST RESPECTED. When everybody in the Comedy Club is making money except who the people came to see, the Comedian. AH! let me stop you before you start with the programmed bullshit- I mean rhetoric..lol...allow me to sing along. "They're not there to see you. Who are you? If the people knew who you were ; you wouldn't need this Club you'd be in a Theatre." yadayadayada something to that effect. Let me clear my throat, and allow me to borrow your imagination and use this simile. Let's look at the Comedy Club as a Restaurant ,first of all the waiter at a 5 Star Restaraunt does not and will not earn more money than the Chef. I equate the Comedian to a Chef that not only has great recipes/material but also brings the food that he will then cook and serve the people, and make it look easy . In a nutshell the Comedy club is the restaraunt. But who would want to go to a restaurant that had no food, and like wise WHO would go to a Comedy Club without Comedians. It ain't happenin'

The Most creative ;the least respected. And like Niggers, not Niggaz because Niggaz stick together, if you don't stick to gether you're bound for extinction. There is no sense of Community amongst Comedians, especially on the black circuit. Meanwhile every other job in Hollywood looks out for one another and has a support system in place by way of a Union. The need has never been greater, there have been Comedians who have recently died and didn't even have the money to be buried.

What's wrong with this picture?

While Television and Movie writers, who happen to come down with a bad case of writer's block, visit their local Comedy club for fresh ideas & inspiration. I'm telling you what I know not what I heard, I've seen how Comedians like Bill Bellamy change the American vocabulary overnight with the phrase "Booty Call" and never recieve a check. In fact a movie was made called Booty Call and it didn't star him. Jamie Foxx and Tommy Davidson happen to be the stars of that "classic"

So what do I propose?
My Proposal is this

1) Stop back stabbing & Under cutting fellow Comedians.
You're fucking up the Game.

2) Get your Sales Game Up. There's a reason Crystal Champagne costs $1500 a bottle and other brands cost less. It's about perceived Market Value.

3) Do unto Others as you wish they'd do unto You
Look for ways to feed your fellow Comedians. Meaning freely pass along Gigs and/ Or Information about work ESPECIALLY FILM&TELEVISION. Give it.

4) Don't fall for the Bannana in the tale pipe. There's more than enough room at the table for ALL of US. If it's not you're dreaming to small. Expand your Vision IMAGINE a bigger table.

If WE don't do it ; if WE don't look out for OURSELVES . And do it NOW we'll die off one by one with broken dreams and broken bank accounts. TEAMWORK MAKES DREAMS WORK. The more you give the more you get. Give greater support to ne another.

COMICS UNITE!!!

COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS SAY:
A STITCH IN TIME ; SAVES 9

COMEDY CONFUSCIOUS ALSO SAY:
GOOD FRIENDS STAY CLOSE; LIKE SWEATY ASS CHEEKS